<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Before the sun shines onto us by danniburgh</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28589154">Before the sun shines onto us</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/danniburgh/pseuds/danniburgh'>danniburgh</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Actor RPF, Pedro Pascal - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Child Death, F/M, Here comes the sun, I'm Bad At Tagging, Mentions of Blood, Pedro Pascal - Freeform, i dont know science btw, im sorry, its just... angst, rocks that bleed inspired this, the end of the world i guess</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:20:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,227</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28589154</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/danniburgh/pseuds/danniburgh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>RPF: Pedro Pascal x Fem!reader</p><p>It's been a long time since they saw each other, they lived so many things together that neither of them could change not forget, yet for her, returning to the house that they shared for so long, while the world was ending, was way more necessary than she had expected.<br/>or<br/>Pedro didn't expect to see his ex-wife standing on the front door, he didn't expect her to ask about the recent news or to compliment his home decour style just as if nothing had happened. But given the fact that the world was ending, he let her in anyway.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Pedro Pascal/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Before the sun shines onto us</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Bertie Gilbert's short film "Rocks That Bleed" lives in my mind rent free, and so does Pedro Pascal, so i combined them, im sorry...</p><p>btw english is not my first language, so apologies in advance and i didnt use "Y/N" bc honestly it looks weird to me so...<br/>also: wanted to keep the "Child death" tag out bc im stupid, so, yeah, it's kind of... there. non-graphic tho, put a little [tw] before it starts</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The inspo: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtUUvQtChNc">Rocks That Bleed</a></p><p> </p><p>She came out of the door of the hotel salon, her big handbag was hanging from her right arm, her small suitcase was being rolled with the left one, she encountered one of her colleagues that was also getting out and the man waved at her with a smile.</p><p>"Hey, you wanna grab a coffee with the rest of us?" He kind of screamed the question, trying to make himself heard over the voiced of all the people that were getting out and gathering at the entrance of the salon, he smiled back at him and shook her head.</p><p>"I have to go back home, Ben, but I'll grab that coffee next time, for sure" The man laughed.</p><p>"See you next year, then" She waved at him as she walked down the corridor towards the elevators, she rushed to the only one open despite her high heels and one of the people already inside held the door for her.</p><p>"Thanks" She took out her phone from her bag and dialed the most recent number on her calls history, her assistant picked up in the first tone. "Hey Jessi, is the ticket ready?" she asked, looking at the small screen on top of the elevator, impatient to reach the first floor.</p><p>"Yes misses Balmaceda, ready for you to pick it up and the flight is at seven thirty" the girl on the other side of the line said, the elevator door opened and she was the first one to walk out of it.</p><p>"Thank you, see you in the morning" She said, hanging up, while she was walking towards the hotel main entrance she dialed her husband's phone number, she heard his voice while giving her suitcase to one of the bellboys, who was holding the door open for her to get out.</p><p>"Taxi?" the boy said, and she nodded.</p><p>"Hey, babe, just got out of the seminar" On the other side of the line she could hear some giggles and on the background she heard a children's song that she immediately recognized.</p><p>"Oh finally, how was it?" She smiled at her husband's response, she noticed his agitated voice. A taxi pulled over next to her and the driver got out to help the bellboy with the suitcase.</p><p>"Well, you know, doctor stuff" She said, teasingly "They amazingly discovered yet another protein that produces cerebral cancer, but now I'm on my way home" He let out a sigh and she got inside the car.</p><p>"You okay, Pedro?" The taxi driver got inside as well and looked at her "Airport, please" The man nodded and started the engine.</p><p>"Ash please stop changing the channels" She smiled at the mention of their daughter "Yeah I'm fine, just tired, what time you're arriving?"</p><p>"Around ten, how's my baby?" She asked.</p><p>"She's being a torment right now, she didn't let me read the script I received" Pedro said with a laugh "She has bedtime in two minutes" he raised his voice, more to the little girl that was running around the living room than to his wife, She smiled and the taxi made a turn.</p><p>"Awe, I miss my baby" She murmured while looking out the window.</p><p>"And your baby missed you, we both do" Pedro said back, she didn't respond, a bright light outside caught her attention.</p><p>"The moon looks very shiny" She whispered, surprised.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"The moon, it looks very, very shiny" She emphasized "Way more than normal"</p><p>"Amor, it's the moon, it's always shiny"</p><p>"No, Pedro, it looks... Shinier than usual"</p><p>"What do you even mean?"</p><p>"Go look at it"</p><p>"I'm not gonna look at it" He laughed "It's just the goddamn moon."</p><p>"Honey please, it looks odd, just indulge me" She insisted.</p><p>"It does look weird" The taxi driver said while making another turn, leaving the moon behind them.</p><p>"See? even the driver thinks so" She giggled, turning on the seat to see it again through the back windshield</p><p>"I mean I guess it looks kind of unusual" Pedro said.</p><p>"Told you" She said, he laughed at her cocky voicetone. The taxi made yet another turn and she could see the airport. "Okay babe, gotta go, see you later, give Ashley a kiss from me"</p><p>"Can't wait to see you, love you"</p><p>"Love you too"</p><hr/><p>She turned off the car's ignition and looked at the town house through the copilot's window, she hadn't been inside in so long it almost looked... Unknown to her.</p><p>She hesitated to open the car door and get out but she did it anyway. She stopped and looked down at that <em>specific </em>patch of concrete on the street, and had to force herself to look away from it, as she could feel her throat getting clogged already.</p><p>She walked slowly to the end of the steps and stopped again to look at the front door, it was worn down and a bit darker than she recalled, she walked up the steps one by one until she got to the front door, it was there where she noticed how the street was oddly quiet, dark, only lightened by the street lights and the overshiny moon, very calm, the only noise that she could hear was the wind playing with the few leaves left on the trees and the muffled sound that came from inside the house.</p><p>She hesitated to knock on the door for a second but she did it anyway. One, two, three small hits with her knuckles.</p><p>The door opened and there he was, tall as ever, handsome as ever.</p><p>"Hi" She said, he looked surprised, she didn't know if it was because she was there or not, she noticed his beard and her stomach made a turn because of how much she liked it, she also noticed the bag below his eyes and she wanted to cry because his damn eyes were as warm and deep as she remembered.</p><p>"Hi" Pedro responded.</p><p>"Did you hear?" She asked, he tilted his head, implicintely telling her to elaborate on her question "About the sun?"</p><p>He stood there, looking at her, she then had that sensation on her chest she hadn't felt in so much, the expectation, the tension, she wanted to know so bad what was going on inside his head, she had seen so many brains in her career but with his, she just wanted to read his thoughts so she could know if she wanted her there or if she had to leave and be alone while everything happened.</p><p>He then nodded slightly and stepped to the side to let her in.</p><p>She hesitated to go inside for a split second, but she did it anyway, she walked slowly, taking in all the changes he had made to the place, new paint, some new furniture, it even smelled different.</p><p>She jumped, startled, when he reached her shoulders from behind to take off her jacket, not because he scared her, but because she hadn't felt his touch in way too long.</p><hr/><p>The taxi pulled over in front of her house, she paid while opening the car door, getting out and taking out the suitcase from inside the car.</p><p>"Keep the change" She sad, closing the taxi door, she rushed over to the end of the steps and walked them up as fast as her heels allowed her to, already with the key on her hand.</p><p>She opened the door and got inside, the house was silent and the only light on was a lamp on the living room, she took out her shoes and dropped them on the entrance, she walked to the kitchen, lifting some of Ashley's toys in the way, on top of the counter was a tinfoil covered dish, and she smiled at the small note sticked to it that had a smiley face drawn on.</p><p>She felt two hands on her waist that startled her, and then a soft pair of lips on her cheek.</p><p>"You scared me" She said laughing, she turned around on his embrace and faced Pedro, already in his pajamas.</p><p>"Good" He smiled at her and hugged her tighter, she stood on her tiptoes to give him a kiss, using her hands to caress his biceps and go all the way to the nape of his neck.</p><p>"Hi, movie star"</p><p>"How was your flight, Doctor?" He asked softly on her lips, then he put his forehead on hers.</p><p>"Flight-ey" She smiled, he nodded softly as he left his hands wander on her waist, her hip and her lower back  "I'm wrecked" </p><p>"Me and you both" He gave her another kiss, this one hungrier than the last one, but also slower.</p><p>"Where's my baby?"</p><p>"Already asleep"</p><p>"I wanna see her" He nodded and kissed her one last time before breaking the tight embrace, he grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the kitchen.</p><p>"Vamos"</p><p>They got up the stairs in silence, she holding his left hand and he holding her suitcase with his right one, she made a turn to Ashley's room while Pedro walked to their bedroom, she opened the door trying not to be loud, and walked towards the girl's bed, sitting on it beside her.</p><p>Pedro left the suitcase and came back to his daughter's room, watching as his wife was caressing softly the little girl's soft brown hair while whispering to her words he couldn't listen, he smiled and leaned on the door frame, crossing his arms, she turned to see him.</p><p>"Can you believe we made this wonder?" She murmured, pointing at the little girl fast asleep on the bed.</p><hr/><p>Pedro didn't like how he was feeling about her being there, he knew he was supposed to be angry, if not, maybe a bit offended, but he wasn't. He liked her being there, in the place that was theirs, in the house that belonged to her.</p><p>"I like the color" She said, pointing at the wall and looked at him for a brief moment. "It doesn't even look like the same house" She sounded amazed.</p><p>"Yeah, I had it painted last year" He walked past her, still with her jacket on his hands, he left it on the armchair near the hallway "You wanna sit down?" She nodded and sat on the couch near the window. He stood there, just trying to figure out what to say or what to do, he scratched his beard and then sat down on the other armchair, next to the couch she was sitting on.</p><p>Pedro looked at her as her eyes wandered across everything that was within her sight but him, he noticed rather quickly that she was avoiding looking at him. He was astonished by just her mere presence there. </p><p>She was stift, she didn't know what to say to him or even if she should even speak at all, while she was looking at the new coat of paint, she noticed a big painting of a beach hanging on the wall near the dining table, it looked cold, it looked out of place. </p><p>"How's your dad?" She asked, looking down at her hands, or her shoes, he couldn't tell.</p><p>"He's okay" He responded, she fidgeted her fingers, he knew what she was really asking "He's gonna spend it with my brothers, Nico flew to Chile when the rumors started" She nodded.</p><p>"And Javi?" Pedro sighed, he knew why she was asking about his family, he knew she cared about them, but he also knew that she was making time, she didn't want to tell him yet why she was there.</p><p>"She's at home, she's with the in-laws" </p><p>Then the silence fell on them once again, she was just sitting there, and he knew she could feel her gaze on her, she always could, and he didn't think her body had already forgotten how his stare felt.</p><p>She tried to control herself, she didn't want to break more, then she realized why the beach painting looked so out of place. That wall used to be the place where half a dozen pictures of Ashley were hung. She felt the clogging in her throat again and she felt the familiar stinging on the back of her eyes, for a moment she wanted to yell at him and ask him where all of her pictures went, but she couldn't, she wasn't ready.</p><p>"I wanted to go back home" She mentioned in a hushed-tone, still looking down "But then they announced the state borders were closing so I had to stay" </p><p>Pedro didn't say anything, he wanted her to speak more, he wanted her to tell him what was she doing there after three years, he wanted her to explain to him why she did what she did without him having to ask her for answers.</p><p>She then lifted his head and looked at him, she was crying.</p><hr/><p>She felt a tiny, cold pair of hands on her cheeks, then a small pair of lips kissing her forehead, she smiled without opening her eyes as the tiny hands caressed her hair.</p><p>"Mommy" She heard near her ear "Are you awake?" She smiled at the question and then shook her head. She heard giggles. "Yes you are."</p><p>"Wake up papi" She whispered while opening one of her eyes to see her little girl kneeling on the edge of the bed, with her big brown eyes small, her hair all rowdy and her pajamas wrinkled. Ashley wineded her grin and she helped her cross her to get to the middle of the bed. Pedro was on his tummy, hugging the pillow, and Ashley sat on his back.</p><p>"Papi, despierta, wake up" She started screaming and jumping in his back, Pedro growled and reached to the girl with one arm to hug her off his back and down to the bed.</p><p>"Papá tiene la espalda muy jodida, niña" He said with a laugh while Ashley was laughing as he tickled her. <em>(Daddy's back is very fucked, girly)</em></p><p>"It's my cumpleaños" Ashley screamed, wanting her father to free her from his tickly fingers. <em>(It's my birthday) </em>Pedro stopped the tickle assault and looked at his wife, that was enjoying the show from the comfort of the other side of the bed.</p><p>"Why do you let her hurt me like this?" He asked with a smile on his face.</p><p>"It's her cumpleaños" She shrugged, Pedro laughed at the response.</p><p>"I turn this many" The girl, still in her father's arms, raised up a hand with three lifted fingers.</p><p>"You're getting old" Pedro screamed while resuming his tickle attack.</p><p>"¡Para, papá!" Ashley screamed again <em>(Stop, dad)</em> and giggled out of his arms, crawling to her laughing mom and sitting on her lap. "Mommy, I love you, can we have ice cream for breakfast?" Her mom laughed at the attempted bribe.</p><p>"What if we have it after breakfast?" Ashley shook her head. "No? Maybe with the breakfast?" Pedro laughed and sat on the bed while the girl nodded effusively, then she opened her arms and Ashley fell into them "Happy birthday, my sunshine"</p><p>Pedro saw his two girls with a smile on his face and got closer to hug them both, giving his wife a kiss on the cheek and then one to his daughter on the head.</p><p>"Feliz cumpleaños, pulga" <em>(Happy birthday, flea [i swear it's endearingly in spanish])</em></p><hr/><p>"I called my mom" She said, wiping off a tear that was beginning to fall on her cheek and looking away, still trying to look for pictures of Ashley, Pedro shifted on the chair "I actually spoke to her for almost four hours" He nodded, not knowing where she was going on with this, but wanting to hear more "And we talked about us, and about how much we love each other" She left out more tears as she spoke "She asked me to forgive her for all the things she did wrong" Pedro was absort on how much it hurt him to see her like that, and didn't even tried to hide it, "We just wanted closure" she said, and then he saw her rubbing her hands together as if they were cold "She's gonna be alone, y'know, for this?" She gestured with her hand, making a circle "But she didn't want me to be alone"</p><p>Pedro then looked at her more intensely, trying to analize her as she wiped her tears away and looked around the house, searching for something. He didn't know if he wanted her to elaborate more on what she talked about with her mom, but he did know what she was looking for.</p><p>He stood up and walked towards her, she felt a shiver down her spine as he kneeled on the other side of the couch and opened the curtain. She turned on her seat and saw three small picture frames put neatly on the edge of the window. She felt her shoulders drop as he sat next to her and grabbed the first one and gave it to her.</p><p>"Her first steps" He said, she nodded, looking at the picture through the wetness of her eyes. She blinked and a tear fell on the glass, she wiped it and saw him grab the next one.</p><p>"That's on her third birthday" He said, softly, she took the picture and left out a sob, she covered her mouth with her free hand and then looked up to the ceiling.</p><p>"I thought-" </p><p>"I know" He interrupted her, standing up and taking a deep breath and turning his back to her "I just don't like to see them all the time" He said, she nodded even though he didn't see her.</p><p>"She has your eyes" She whispered, he looked at her and she did the same, she saw his eyes fill with tears and then he said something she wish she didn't hear.</p><p>"Had"</p><hr/><p>[tw]</p><p>She was writing a report on her laptop when she heard a knock on the door, then she heard Pedro's voice from outside.</p><p>"Can you help us with the groceries, please" He yelled, she let out a laugh and closed the computer, walked towards the front door and opened it to see her husband carrying more groceries than he could handle on the doorstep and her daughter trying to help with three others on the sidewalk, she moved to let Pedro inside and got out to carry the ones left.</p><p>"Honey get inside, please, it's freezing" She said, grabbing two bags and waiting for the girl to walk up the stairs.</p><p>"I wanna help" Ashley said, trying to lift a heavy bag. </p><p>"I think I over-bought" Pedro said behind her, walking down the stairs, she turned to see him.</p><p>"Oh do you?" She laughed, her husband took the bags she was holding and gave her a kiss. "I'm gonna grab the other one" Pedro nodded and turned to leave the bags inside. "C'mon Ash, inside" She said as she turned around to grab the bag that was left. </p><p>The bag was tilted to the side, there were two tuna cans on the floor and she saw Ashley walking towards the street to pick up another can that was rolling away. She saw everything in slow motion when in fact it happened within a minute.</p><p>"¡Ashley leave that!" She screamed at her daughter, rushing to grab her, the child stopped in the middle of the street and showed the can to her mom with a victory smile on her face. She tried to run to Ashley that hadn't seen the suv that was already a feet away from her.</p><p>Pedro only heard a long scream, the sound of car breaks, then a deep sob.</p><p>He rushed out of the house, the first thing that he saw was the suv, stopped in the middle of the street, then whom he assumed was the driver, talking desperately into the phone, then he saw his wife crouched on the asphalt, holding... Ashley.</p><p>Pedro tried to walk towards them but his legs didn't respond, he dropped to his knees in the middle of the sidewalk while he saw his wife sitting in the middle of the street holding their little girl to her chest screaming her name as loud as she could. He felt more cold than he had ever felt in his life, he felt his eyes wanting to pop out of his head, he felt like sticking his hand into his chest to squish out his heart, he wanted to stop looking at the scene, he didn't want to see Ashley's blood on the concrete anymore, he didn't want to hear his wife screaming her lungs out calling for her baby, he didn't want to see his little girls body being ripped away from her mother. But there he was, seeing it all, hearing it all, feeling it all.</p><p>Pedro sat there while his wife sat on the street, the ambulance came, the police did too, their neighbours showed up as well and they just sat there, seeing without seeing, hearing without hearing.</p><p>By the time the paramedics made the call, pronounced Ashley and took her away, his wife had stopped crying, was being helped by a police officer to stand up and then Pedro did too. He walked towards her and slowly reached for her face, she didn't say anything, he didn't say anything. She leaned into his chest and he held her as tight as his body responded him. They stood there for a while, the sun went down and then the moon lighted up, she looked down and the bag of groceries was put into the edge of the stairs.</p><p>"The moon" Pedro said, she looked up "It looks unusual again"</p><hr/><p>"Had" She corrected.</p><p>He stood there in silence, she was holding the picture to her chest, that image reminded him of so much that he closed his eyes instictevly.</p><p>"Are you gonna tell me why you're here?" He asked softly. She looked at him, astounded that he wasn't angry, or exasperated, astounded that he was just... sad, she looked at him, wondering why she could still read him as well as she did back when they were together.</p><p>"I..." She started, he looked at her and saw her face, puffy and red from crying and her eyes, even so watery, expecting and hopeful. "I don't wanna be alone" She let out a sob and then hid her face into her hands, feeling stupid, pathetic, feeling lonely, as well as sad, so very sad, because she knew he had all the right to make her leave, she knew that if he wanted, he could tell her to fuck off and throw her out to spend the last time alone.</p><p>"Okay" He said, she looked at him, thanking him with one look, he stared at her for what it seemed hours and then nodded. "I'll bring you some water"</p><p>She saw him walking to the kitchen, she heard him grab a cup, opening the fridge and pouring water into it, then he came back and handed it to her.</p><p>"It's filtered, don't worry" He told her, sitting on the chair again, she nodded and took a sip, then left it on the floor, by the end of the couch.</p><p>"Do they have any idea when it's gonna start?" She asked, more out loud than directly to him, he shrugged.</p><p>"They have no fucking idea of anything" He answered.</p><p>"Are you mad?" She asked him "About how's gonna end?" He frowned at the way she asked, and actually thought of it because he didn't know.</p><p>"I guess I am" He said "There was so much I wanted to do, y'know" He scratched his beard and moved to lean on his hand, putting his elbow on his knee "You heard they closed the movie business when the news broke?" She lifted her eyebrows in surprised, she was so out of the loop "Everything was shut down, it was fucking unbelievable" He said.</p><p>"When was the last time you filmed anything?" She asked, he grinned.</p><p>"About eight months ago, when they announce the exact date." He said, looking at her, he felt how they were starting to loosen up a bit, and so he didn't want to waste any more of the short amount of time they had, either together or alive. "Why did you leave?"</p><hr/><p>When he entered the kitchen there was smoke coming out of the oven, he quickly turned it off and opened it along with the stractor to try to get rid of most of the smoke. She was standing next to the fridge, looking at nothing, holding an oven mitt close to her chest.</p><p>"Are you ok?" He asked, he knew it was the most stupid question he could ask at the moment, and he understood when she didn't even acknowledge it. He stood there for a second, wondering and pondering if he could walk towards her and hug her, wondering and pondering if she would take the hug or push him away once again as she had done for the past few months.</p><p>He decided to give it a chance and walked towards her, though he didn't hug her, he just stood next to her.</p><p>She let out a sob and slowly shoved the oven mitt into his chest, walking away.</p><p>Pedro held the mitt and he recognized the drawing it had, it was one of many projects Ashley had made in school. He went after her, she was standing in the middle of the living room, looking at all the pictures of Ashley the had on the wall. He went for it and tried to hug her waist from behind, she let out a sigh and took his arms and unmade the embrace. He closed his eyes just wanting to know what was going on. She turned to see him with her eyes filled with tears.</p><p>"I need to leave" She said, he felt the air leaving his chest.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I can't be here anymore" She sobbed out, he walked towards her again and she stopped hi with a hand on his chest "I'm sorry, I can't" He frowned, he needed an explanation and she knew she was entitled to one but she didn't have the strength to do it.</p><p>"I'll go" He said, grabbing her from the arms, she shook her head and let out two thick tears.</p><p>"I'm the one leaving" She said, slowly.</p><p>"But why" He cried, he didn't realize he was crying as well until he said that. "Please talk to me."</p><p>"I can't be in this house anymore, Pedro, I can't be here anymore" She said through her sobs, he tried to hug her again and she refused.</p><p>"Let's go together, let's leave together" He pleaded. She shook her head. "Please don't leave"</p><p>"I don't wanna be here anymore" </p><p>"You don't want to be with me?" He asked, hoping and praying for the answer to be yes.</p><p>"No"</p><p>He sobbed, she then hugged him and he held her as tight as he had strength to.</p><p>"You have her eyes" She sobbed "I can't look at your eyes because all I can see it's her and I can't bear it anymore" He let out a sob all the way from his chest, she wanted to break the hug.</p><p>"Please don't leave" He begged "I need you"</p><p>"I'm so sorry" She looked at him, grabbed his face and they there were, his damn eyes, the same she had, the same eyes she had stared into when she was holding her body when she left. "I want you to know that I do love you" She said, he closed his eyes and shook his head "And I will never stop, you hear me? I will always love you"</p><p>Then she walked up the stairs and left him in the living room, knowing she was packing, knowing she was leaving, knowing then and there that he would be alone.</p><p>And when she got down with a suitcase on her hand, he stood there, crying his eyes out, begging her with his eyes not to leave, wanting her to stay, promising it would get better. </p><p>But she opened the door, gave him one last stare and wiped a tear away.</p><p>"I'll come back for the rest of my things when you're at set" And walked out.</p><p>He sat on the couch wondering what he did wrong, while she stood in the doorstep for a while, looking at the very unusual, evergrowingly shiny moon.</p><hr/><p>The question took her by surprise, she knew he wanted to know, she still knew, after three years, he was entitled to an explanation, she owed her one.</p><p>"I know it won't make sense" She started "But I saw her in you" He saw her jaw starting to tremble.</p><p>"That's the thing" He said, trying to remain calm, trying to forget all those nights he spent screaming into his pillows, trying to forget all the times different directors had to cut scenes because he was inexplicably crying. "I saw her in you, too" She looked down, embarrassed "And I still loved you, I worshiped you" He said, his voice breaking at the last sentence "I fucking died inside a second time when you left"</p><p>"Pedro" It was the first time she'd said his name since she arrived, and he didn't like what it made him feel, he had worked hard to try to forget her and keep the happy memories of his little girl intact that he felt like an incredible failure when he felt his heart pounding at the sound of his name on her lips. "I know it wasn't fair-"</p><p>"Of fucking course it wasn't fair" He cut her "You left me here, to grieve alone, do you think I didn't suffer after Ashley died?"</p><p>"Be both did, you know that, each of us in a different way" She sobbed out.</p><p>"And yet, when I needed your support you left" He said, she could hear a tone of irony.</p><p>"And what about me?" She said, frowning, realizing that maybe it had been a mistake to knock on his door "Did you actually think I would be grieving just with hugs? And kisses? I needed to talk about it, Pedro, I fucking needed to talk about it, our little girl died, and you just wanted to cuddle up in bed and stay there"</p><p>He opened his mouth trying to respond but he couldn't, because it was true. He knew it was his mistake and then and there he realized that he couldn't do anything to repair it.</p><p>A blast was heard outside, they both jumped, she looked out the window and saw absolutely nothing. He reached for the tv remote and turned it on.</p><p>He put on the news channel while wiping his tears, and sat next to her on the couch, there was a coverage on what they were calling "The Outburst", for them, it was just an announced chronicle of the end of the world, they were talking about the flares of the sun getting increasingly hotter, higher and dangerous.</p><p>"Ugh, as if we didn't know" Pedro said, then they ran a simulation of what would happen once the earth reached what, once again, they were calling "Blast Wave Point", the point where the earth and the sun would be closer to each other, the earth would heat up and everything will start catching in flames, then the "Last Flare" would reach and light everything on fire. She reached and grabbed Pedro's hand as the images on the tv showed a render of the end of humanity. He turned off the tv. "Apparently it was just a flare reaching the atmosphere" He said, she nodded and looked at him.</p><p>"Are you still mad at me?" She asked, he gripped her hand and shook his head.</p><p>"We're past that" He said "Time did its thing" She gave him a soft smile and nodded. "Are you hungry?"</p><p>**********</p><p>They had dinner together, they talked about what they had done the last three years, he had heard about her new investigation reaching the scientific community before the colleges shut down, she had watched him receive an oscar way before they announced the exact date of The Outburst.</p><p>They had laughed at how they actually weren't the first people to notice the increasing reflection of the sun on the moon as the huge star heated to the point of no return, they had reminisce at how they looked at the moon every time they missed each other or every time they missed Ashley.</p><p>They cried again, holding each other hands, and asked for forgiveness and forgave one another. They remembered the good times they spent together in over eight years of relationship and the rough times as well.</p><p>They watched the president's final address to the people of America, the doomsday goodbye, and laughed at the stiffness of it all, spent hours talking and talking about their childhoods and how they imagine Ashley would be like now, hearing once every few hours the blasts of the sun flares reaching the atmosphere.</p><p>"I'm actually glad she's not here to see this shit" She said, Pedro nodded in agreement, they had moved to sit on the floor, the temperature outside was rising and they had started to break a sweat, he lend her one of his t-shirts so she could remove the sweater she was wearing before.</p><p>"Don't you wonder how our lives would be if things didn't go as they did?" He asked her, she looked at him and grabbed his hand.</p><p>"Maybe I could've learned more español" She teased, he laughed "I do, but when I catch myself doing it I force myself to stop" He looked at her, interested "Because I know it's not healthy, y'know, to live that way in the past" He nodded with a nostalgic smile. And they listened carefully as another flare tried to reach the planet.</p><p>"Sounds ominous" He said, she laughed.</p><p>"Do you think it'll let us know?" She asked, he moved his body to face hers and shrugged.</p><p>"I don't know I've never lived this before" He teased "Why don't you know?" He asked her.</p><p>"I'm a neurologist not an astronomer" She answered with a smile, and went on to lean her head on his shoulder. "I really hope it doesn't"</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"I don't wanna know, I wanna burn to death without it in my mind" She said, looking at his eyes, making him feel ever so transparent, making him feel like she could read him like an open book.</p><p>"What do you wanna have in your mind?" He asked, knowing full well why.</p><p>"Ashley" She said, he smiled endearingly "I wanna burn to death while I look into your eyes" She let out. He raised his eyebrows in surprise.</p><p>"God, how did I miss you" He spat. She smiled and lifted a hand to cup his face. They could hear two blasts going off at the same time, and the power went down.</p><p>"Shit" She said, scared, he pulled her into him, even though the air was hot and thick and they were sweaty and messy, he held her. Another two blasts went off. "Is it time?" She asked, he didn't respond because he didn't know. A set of four blasts were heard, one after the other "It's letting us know" She cried into his chest.</p><p>Pedro loosened his grip on her and grabbed her face with both hands, making her see him.</p><p>"It's gonna be okay" He said, trying to wipe off her tears with his thumbs "We're together, you're with me now" She nodded as the blasts started to get more frequent and the heat started to get almost unbearable.</p><p>"Why the fuck is this happening so fast?" She said, blinking fast to let the tears fall, Pedro shook his head, not knowing what to say, about to burst into tears as well, he would've been lying if he had said he wasn't scared "I need more time" She spat, while trying to cling to him "I need more time with you" He started crying as he heard her saying those words. Somehow made him feel the warmest he had felt in years, even in the middle of the apocalypse. "I love you, Pedro, I never stopped loving you"</p><p>"I know, I love you too, I fucking love you" He felt his skin wet with sweat and she finally closed the little distance they had left between them, she kissed him eagerly and clumsily, she kissed him like she hadn't kiss any human being in three years, and as he grabbed her face as close as he could, opening his lips for her to consume the little air he still had inside his chest, he thought there was nowhere else he wanted to be, right there, as the world was lighting up in flames, as the whole human race was being wiped from the planet, there was nothing else he wanted to do, no one else he wanted to embrace, no other thing he wanted to do, than to kiss the love of his life, after so long of not feeling her touch.</p><p>If the end of the world had to happen for them to feel each other again, so be it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry for the angst, i made myself cry like 4 times writing this, im not proud (yesiam)</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>